Here's a simple way to interpret all that bullsh*t I wrote above. Have you ever had an ailment (toothache, stomachache, headache, etc.) and thought to yourself you will never take NOT having that ailment again for granted? There ya go.
While I grew up with dogs, it wasn't until my early 30's that TRULY leaned what love meant. I learned that from having kids, and in addition to man's other best friend, the wonderful canine. Specific to this example: Humphrey the pug. For 10+ years this dog Humphrey and I did EVERYTHING together. We were thick as thieves and everywhere I went, he was by my side. The only time he was not was when I away from the house in a place unable to take care of him (work, restaurants, etc.), but other than that we were always together.
I never imagined in my life I would come close to duplicating the relationship I had with Humphrey. I mean it's a once-in-a-thirty-year relationship, right?
Well, for some reason I'm not going to even try and analyze as to how or why: I've become as close if not more close to the latest jerk I keep as a side-kick: Winston. He and Humphrey are the complete opposite in ever way. The best way I can articulate it in to a human analogy: Humphrey was a fighter and Winston is a lover. I could be wrong as rain. All I know is everyone who has been around us will tell you how both dogs were able to communicate on levels for which they have never seen.
It's a snotty breed. Expensive, historically bred for the upper-class, etc. Some people think they are ugly as sin, some thing they hung the moon with how cute they are, etc. I just know this. As a guy's guy: what I DO know about Pugs is this: they are 8+ lbs of pure kick-ass. They are trusting to a fault. By "fault" they will wander off without thinking of any repercussions. "My owner will get me when he's ready....." and off they will go, baby!
I can't tell you how many times I'd be at the park, 6:00am on a Saturday morning with the kids in a stroller, letting Humphrey run wild within ear-shot of me. If I diverted my attention for more than 30 seconds I'd look up and he 30 seconds away. That's just how they are: there is no changing that.
So the other night when my wife said "Where's Winston?" things changed. "That's a good question", I thought. I'd last seen him about an hour ago in the back yard. It's very odd for him to spend that much time alone.
I knew.
I knew he had taken off. I could not be bothered to worry about how or when, I just got to business.You see, I know the pain and did want to experience it again. It's real shit.
I know what it's like to come home from work, notice that utility workers who were there earlier did not properly close the gate, and well, by best friend was gone. I know the feeling of driving around all night not finding him. I know the feeling of coming home on my lunch hour the next day to search some more, seeing my best friend dead in the street from being hit by a car. I know the feeling of standing over him sobbing while strangers consoled me.
I did not want to feel that again. I repeat: I GOT TO BUSINESS.It was about 10:30pm. I delegated some "searching" tasks to my wife and children, jumped in the minivan...and prayed. You see, I could not envision a scenario where I could accept anything except Winston being near by side as I went to bed, so I prayed I could handle whatever scenario was put upon me. I've been around and consequently know how shit can go down, so once again I got to MFing business!
To make a long story short (if it's possible at this point, I literally set up a perimeter, and circled in on him.
Guys, I'm 44 years old. I'm an experienced 44-year old,know that. Meaning I've done, seen, felt, experienced a LOT in my time here. As stated I could not envision a scenario where I could go without my best friend. This is why I cannot even begin to describe the euphoria I had when I saw him creep out of the shadows, about six blocks away.
- We locked eyes
- Not knowing who I was at first, Winston got low (like he's gonna do something SMH ha ha)
- I called his name, He lit me up with that dumbass smile and ran in to my arms!
- I heard the expression "coming home from seven wars, alive" many years ago, it's the best I can explain it. TOTAL
I know there will be a period of time where he and I will not be together, but I'm not ready for that just yet. I pray that Winston outlives me. All I know is that he gave me top 3 happiest moments of my life when I found him, simply because complete devastation was averted. It's crazy, still, to think about how close live to that. This is why, I go through life doing ALL I CAN to control my span of influence. Regrets, as an example. 14 years ago when I my first child was born,. I made an oath that 20 years later I would not look back and wish I had devoted more of myself, and to a man I have ZERO regrets to-date,. It's all we can do, and the rest (good and bad) will play out as is His vision. That's what I believe anyway. I could be wrong as anything, but I roll with I believe to the best of my ability.
p.s. Yes he has a tag, yes he has a chip, blah blah. For anyone wondering, he was able to pry open a fence picket an squeeze himself out from the back (which is odd in itself as he never tries to get out...but now I know)/.
As a prologue, I wrap up my day, look at the jerk sitting next to me (see below JERK 1), and then we engage in his favorite activity (see JERK 2).
JERK1
JERK 2
We shall now adjourn to bed, thankful for each other.
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